This week we will be defining a few personality traits.
Snarky: Impertinence. Snarky is best witnessed in the poodle's obvious narcissism and ability to feel superior to other beings. In most circles snarkiness is believed to be directly responsible for the well known "Napoleon Complex"
Narcissism: A self-centered belief that all poodle related activities are far more important than those of other co-existing beings. In severe cases this is demonstrated when the narcissist (if he were capable of speech) says: “Show me these other beings of which you speak.”
Narcissistic Insult: the result of an unwillingness on the part of the observer to watch the poodle narcissist participate in some inane activity (e.g. perhaps licking himself) in preference for one the observer has mistakenly deemed as more important (e.g. attempting to resolve the issues of famine, global warming or world peace)
Affectionate: Often observed after long periods of separation from the poodle (e.g. 5 to 10 minutes). Signs of true affection: are seen in the performance of “the poodle dance,” a need for constant, often intrusive physical contact
during periods of rest (e.g. when the observer would find it either difficult or dangerous to change position during sleep for fear of crushing the poodle companion), or the insistence of lap sitting when the observer is sitting for any reason (e.g. reading, telephone calls, putting on shoes…)
Intelligence: Dear Observer, do not be fooled into thinking your poodle is unintelligent when he ignores your command. You are most likely witnessing the combination of personality traits numbers 1 & 2: snarkiness and narcissism. In fact, he is most likely exhibiting what he believes to be a sign of his superior intelligence.
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